Who Beat Roy Moore?

The special election in Alabama has been decided, unless a divine miracle occurs, which as followers of Christ we should not count out. The Lord revels in prevailing when all seems lost, and men’s hearts turn to water. Moore ran against Doug Jones, but did you ever hear Jones’ name escape Roy Moore’s lips? Maybe in the beginning, but certainly not after the Post decided they knew who was best for Alabama. After the Post waded in, Judge Moore had to spend all of his time denying he was a pedophile. He had no time to actually campaign against Doug Jones, who in a tale of the tape should never have come within 10 points of Roy Moore or any warm corpse registered as an Alabama Republican.
So why did Judge Moore lose, or more importantly, who beat him? It wasn’t Doug “Abortion” Jones. Doug Jones owes a debt of gratitude to several people: Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Cory Gardner (who smiles way too much for my taste) and Mitt Romney. I submit to you that these four are traitors, out and out. They should be tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail.
Way back when, in 2012…doesn’t that seem like a lifetime ago? The political world had never heard of the Alt-Right, Trump, MAGA, Pepe, on and on. The party elders, such as Ryan, McConnell, Boehner, and their disgusting lickspittle toadies in every state and local party, had decided who the GOP nominee would be. Once they had spoken, it was your duty as a good republican to sit down, shut up and do what you were told. Some people didn’t; and the party broke their own rules from top to bottom, had duly elected and placed officials, convention chairs and other legitimate party officials arrested, assaulted etc. by local police all because the party establishment wasn’t getting their way. If you dared to defy Ryan, Boehner etc. you were a disloyal republican.
Fast forward to December 12, 2017. What has happened? The nominee that the republican voters of Alabama chose was opposed in a tightly choreographed script by the same GOP leaders who told you you were a disloyal republican for not supporting the preferred candidate. As soon as the Post story broke, GOP leaders and prominent NeverTrumpers lined up with conveniently ready made statements and somber, solemn faces to condemn Roy Moore’s behavior. But aren’t they disloyal republicans now? Didn’t the voters choose Moore? To answer that, you’d have to decide or determine where the loyalty in the party is supposed to flow. To the average republican, the idea of public servants still comes to mind. The party leaders are all elected officials, so in theory they should be loyal to you. Reality is a harsh mistress, though.
The reality is quite different, if you care to think about it for half a second. Whenever the party doesn’t get its way, they will do whatever they feel they need to in order to get their way. Even if a Democrat wins. Who were the write in votes? Mickey Mouse? The governor of Alabama? Jeb??? Look at the dead fish the GOP put up for years against young, sexy, charismatic democrats. Who in their right mind thought Bob Dole and Jack Kemp would be able to beat Bill Clinton? John McCain against Obama? Mittens???
Now we get to the Alabama race. How did Ryan, McConnell and their brown nosing enablers in the media like the coward Ben Shapiro beat Moore? They went right for the women. The perfectly timed Washington Post story was aimed right for the sensitive spot in every woman. The GOPe and company made Roy Moore into a Lifetime network caricature. The only thing Ryan didn’t hand out was pints of Haagen Dasz and Kleenex. All of a sudden, terror ripped through the female republican electorate. “He’s a pedophile! The Washington Post says so!” “Women don’t lie about rape!” That’s all it took. The complicit media whipped it into a frenzy, and boomer GOP women who think ketchup is spicy lost their minds.
I am not sure if you all have noticed, but we are in a war. A war that is not going to be won with good form, manners, or fair play. In fact, the enemy is counting on you to stick to fair play, good form, manners and running from perceived scandal or impropriety. Do that, and you have just handed progressive baby killing communists your neck. The GOP establishment can be safely counted in their number.
Even if the stories were true, is Roy Moore a pedophile? You know men like to marry younger women, right? How old was Mary when she married Joseph? My wife is only a few years younger than I am. My father was twenty years older than my mother. I worked for a man whose wife was twenty six years younger than he. I’ve read that Mary could have been a teenager, while Joseph was much older. Wouldn’t that be a hell of a thing if Mary was about 14 and Joseph in his early thirties. Wouldn’t that just stick in your craw? And if you were so smug and thought you were making a difference by writing in Ted Cruz or something….wouldn’t that really burn? Damn.
To rub salt in your gaping, cuckservative, traitorous wound further, ask your grandmother when she got married. Or ask her when your great grandmother got married. Then go kill yourself. At the very least, the world will be rid of your cowardly, backstabbing existence and my children will have a chance to grow up.

But rest assured, you made a difference. You kept a fiercely pro life, God fearing man out of the Senate, and whether by commission or omission put a baby killing, anti gun zealot in the Senate…all because you read a newspaper article that told you what to think…tune in next time when I discuss why women shouldn’t be voting and have annihilated The Garden of Eden Western Civilization.
And always remember: Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Cory Gardner, every NeverTrumper alive are all traitors. If you’re a NeverTrumper, know that I hate you with a cold fury. If you are from Alabama, never forget that a yankee newspaper and yankee politicians told you what to think, and you obeyed them.
Your ancestors would cry in shame.