How Not To Carry: Girl Edition

First let me say that however you’re carrying, it’s better to have a firearm than to not have a firearm. So if this is the only way you’ll carry, it’s better than nothing. It’s not the absolute worst way to carry. That would be your purse. Everyone knows that if you have a gun, it’s in your purse. The Bad Guy goes for the purse quickly.
That said, this is not how you should be carrying, girls. The problem here is like a cross draw situation only worse. Yeah these girls look like they can draw and shoot, but pay attention.
First, she’s starting with her left hand on her shirt, so she’s ready to pull it up. Second, she’s not taking an aimed shot. She’s literally firing from the hip. She doesn’t have a prayer of hitting anything more than a few feet away. And that matters.
Because if she’s close to the attacker, all he has to do is grab the wrist she just stuffed up her shirt and pin it to her body. This is the standard defensive tactic we apply to cross draw guys, and it will work just as well in this case. Probably better because only chicks will be using these. (Also note the kel-tec jammed in the first shot, and the poor girl didn’t even notice).
My point here is that you have to disregard these times. They are not comparable to any realistic draw times you see. Put both hands at her sides. Put a purse on her shoulder. Make her take an aimed shot at say 10 yards, then lets see how she does.
Ladies, these are your options:
1) Inside your purse: Probably the worst place to carry. It’s predictable. It’s slow. But hey it’s easy.
2) Ankle holster: Slow but less predictable. Can be uncomfortable.
3) Flashbang: Better than in your purse or on your ankle.
4) Shoulder Rig: Comfy, easy to conceal, and less limited than the flashbang. Still cross draw though.
5) In a pocket: Comfy but Slow. Very limiting in what firearm you can carry.
6) On your hip: This is where you SHOULD carry. But none of you will.
7) Small of the back: No. No. No. No. Yes it looks cool in movies. It will also snap your spine if you fall.
8) In your kid’s backback: No seriously, I know a chick that does this. Her kid walks around with a backpack and she has a firearm in it that she can grab and draw if something happens. Cracks my ass up. I don’t think this needs debunking. If this is your method…well, ok.
9) Belly band: Look! It’s like a corset with a gun! It’s slimming! Seriously! This is a great way to carry. I highly recommend.
Ok look, I know how this works. 90% of you are going to read this and roll your eyes and say, “I’m carrying it in my purse.” That’s fine. Just do so knowing you’re taking a chance.